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Book Review: “You’re Not Listening”

You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters

Kate Murphy

Hardcover, 288 pages

Publication Date:  January 7, 2020

Publisher: Celadon Books

Genre: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help

Never in a million years would I call myself a self-help fan. It is one of the few genres I do my best to steer clear from—others include Westerns and romance. When I first saw “You’re Not Listening,” I assumed it was a self-help book promising to change your life through the power of listening. I was right in that assumption, but I was also incredibly wrong.

Kate Murphy is a journalist who has spent years listening to people from all walks of life. She has put her writing and interviewing skills to good use in her book and provides snippets of her own life when her listening fell short and how she learned to do it better. Murphy looks at listening as one of the best things we can do to help others and ourselves. She examines the act of listening from every angle, touching on neuroscience, linguistics, sociology, marketing, psychology and more to show all the many ways listening affects the world.

As technology begins to take precedence in our everyday lives, listening has gone from an uncommon skill to something incredibly hard to find, despite how important it is for everyone to have someone to listen to them. Murphy teaches the reader how to listen and engage with people in meaningful and valuable ways which benefit both the listener and the person talking to them.

I am not sure if I was a good listener before I read “You’re Not Listening,” but I certainly know how to do it better now. In that regard, yes, this is a self-help book. After reading this, I believe your life can actually change for the better because of listening. However, it stands out from regular self-help books in many ways, most notably because it is not focused on helping yourself through listening, but helping other people.

“You’re Not Listening” is filled with colorful and engaging discussions with CIA agents, top salesmen, bartenders and professors. Murphy’s writing is informative without being dense. I would not blame you for thinking reading over 200 pages about listening might get a little boring, but Murphy has written an accessible and thought-provoking book which kept my interest the entire time.

Almost the whole time I was reading “You’re Not Listening,” I found myself thinking about all the ways I could become a better listener to those around me. Murphy has done an excellent job, and whether you are a fan of nonfiction or not—even if you actively avoid self-help books like I do—I highly suggest reading this book. I have no doubt you will learn a thing or two about how to better connect with those you love—and strangers or anyone else who might have a story to share, as long as someone will listen.

Paige Holmes is a senior journalism major from Topeka, KS. Reading is her favorite thing to do because it teaches one how to think, imagine and live. Paige believes there is no better way to learn something or be entertained than by reading a book. Her favorite genre of books is fantasy/thriller and her favorite book is ‘Opening Moves’ by Steven James.

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