Teens are increasingly using text messaging to start romantic relationships and end them, according to a new study by the Pew Research Center.
According to the study, 45 percent of teens use technological means to express romantic interest in someone, whereas only 55 percent of teens express these interests in person.
“It starts with a text like ‘what are you doing tonight?’” sophomore Jake Warrick said.
A survey of Oklahoma Christian University students indicated that 14 percent of college students thought it was OK to break up with someone through text message. Additionally, 14 percent of students surveyed thought it was OK to ask someone to be in a relationship through text message.
The majority of students at Oklahoma Christian, however, said personal relationship matters – like starting or ending a relationship – should be discussed face-to-face.
“I think that’s something someone should do in person, and if they can’t do it in person, you probably shouldn’t be dating them,” freshman Carson Hicks said.
Texting allows individuals an instant and easy form of communication that makes hard conversations easier, according to Warrick.
“It’s easier than looking someone in the eye,” Warrick said.
The texting can also affect relationships throughout the dating process, according to sophomore Jess Reyes.
“On dates when you’re not talking, you’re on your phone,” Reyes said.
Some students said the amount of phone use in dating situations could be caused by the amount of conversation a couple continues outside of in-person talks because of calling, texting or video chatting.
“You’re in constant contact and you talk all the time, so once you actually get together there’s not that much to talk about,” Hicks said. “I think, in general, technology is helpful as far as planning things and getting together, but overall I think it is worse for dating – it has more cons for dating than it does pros.”
One pro would be that couples in long-distant relationships could easily keep in touch.
“When you are actually far away from each other physically, you can communicate with each other,” Warrick said.
Misunderstandings caused by lack of tone and body language are negative aspects of texting, according to freshman Josh Evans.
“You don’t know if someone is joking or if they’re being serious,” Evans said.
Reyes said people also use technology to say things they wouldn’t in person.
“I think people hide behind their phone, when they’re arguing they’d rather do it over text message than in person,” Reyes said.
Misinterpretation of conversations over text or social media also causes problems, according to Hicks.
“I think a lot of misunderstandings and arguments can be started [over text],” Hicks said, “You can’t convey emotion very well through texting, you can’t read the other person’s facial expressions; sarcasm is not well understood.”
Despite the conflicts caused through the use of technology in interpersonal situations, people have a biological dependency on texting.
According to Psychology Today, “Dopamine induces a loop – it starts us seeking, then we get rewarded for the seeking which makes us seek more. Which is what I think happens when we respond to texts, or emails. The result is that we can’t stop looking at email, texting, or checking our cell phones to see if we have a message or a new text.”
Reys said using technology less for interpersonal communication is a good idea.
“I think it would make us hang out more, be closer, communicate better,” Reyes said
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