50 things the human race should stop doing

A handful of people have told me that I should write an article listing all of my pet peeves. At first I thought the idea was stupid. Why would anyone on this campus care about all of the things that annoy me? Where’s the exciting journalism factor in listing pet peeves?

After a late-night discussion with some pals, however, I discovered that some of the things that bother me also bother other people. This week I challenge you to stop doing these 50 things. Recognize that if your habits are on this list, you are a nuisance to people around you.

1. Drivers who don’t use a turn signal
2. People who read out loud what they’re reading/typing in a text message or email
3. Couples who sit on the same side of the booth in a restaurant
4. Noisy eaters
5. Drivers who don’t turn right on red
6. People who insist that a fire drill should count toward kudos
7. People who don’t wash their hands and/or flush after using the bathroom
8. Guys who sit with their legs spread open (If I can close mine, so can you.)
9. People who write “can not” instead of “cannot”
10. People who only have three to five jokes and that’s what they rely on to get laughs
11. People who clear their throats in disgusting ways
12. When you ask someone to take a picture and it comes out blurry, off-centered and he or she doesn’t take multiple
13. People who constantly talk, whistle, snap or sing to themselves
14. People who leave shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot instead of return them to the corral
15. People who drive the wrong way in a parking lot (The arrows painted on the ground are not just suggestions.)
16. People who are late to everything
17. Movie sequels that are totally unnecessary
18. People who leave their phone number at the end of a text message or a voicemail (Say it with me, people: “technology.”)
19. People who don’t pick up after themselves
20. When you pull a string hanging from your shirt and it doesn’t break but instead becomes longer
21. When someone erases something from a whiteboard, but they don’t erase it entirely so there’s half a letter remaining
22. People who blow their horn at you the nanosecond the light changes to green
23. People who don’t wear deodorant (Wear deodorant everyone.)
24. Grocery clerks who insist on handing me my receipt and change at the same time (Let me put away my change while you stick the receipt in the bag.)
25. When there are no hot dog buns left and you are forced to eat your hot dog on a folded piece of bread
26. Parents who don’t remove their screaming children from the auditorium in church – or anywhere for that matter
27. “Can I ask you a question?”
28. Overuse of the word “like” (It’s distracting.)
29. The fact that in eight years I have never gone a single Sunday morning without dropping communion bread crumbs on my shirt
30. People who are in Lawson Commons and ask what time it is (If only Oklahoma Christian would build a 100-foot-tall clock tower or something.)
31. People who don’t clean their inbox and have 2,000+ email notifications on their phone
32. Friends who bring up inside jokes in large crowds, laugh and say, “We can’t talk about that here” (Don’t even bring it up then.)
33. Those of you who talk about your favorite sports team and say “we” like you are part of the team
34. Off-beat clapping during worship (Get it right or don’t do it at all.)
35. The use of redundant statements like ATM machine or PIN number
36. People who steal their tweets from parody accounts (You’re not fooling anyone.)
37. Those of you who still choose to rant on Facebook (High school is over, people.)
38. People who blame everything on Obama – or any president
39. The speed bump in the Phase III circle drive in front of the Nowlin Center
40. When people say “you and I” when it should be “you and me”
41. “Is this what my tuition dollars are paying for?”
42. People who refuse to use correct grammar on social media because “it doesn’t matter” (Tell me that it doesn’t matter when you’re jobless because no employer wants an illiterate person on their team.)
43. Bad breath
44. Parents who give their kids weird names
45. Alto singers who insist on singing during the soprano solo in any song
46. Guys who sing in falsetto during the soprano solo in any song (just let the sopranos have their moment.)
47. Texans who have too much pride in Texas (I can say this because I’m a Texan.)
48. Multiple posts on Instagram in a two-hour period
49. People who are still complaining about the Oklahoma weather
50. Students who believe Oklahoma Christian’s only mission is “ring by spring” (That’s not a real thing.)

Maybe I’m opening up the floodgates for all of you to suddenly begin doing all of these things whenever you are around me. I like to think that the world would be a better place if all of you stopped doing these things.

Jake Whiteley is a junior at Oklahoma Christian University and Opinions Editor for the Talon

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