Before I get into any of this, a brief disclaimer: I love this university, and hope I understand sometimes why they do what they do – for instance, having a dress code. As a Christian university, I understand and respect why they feel the need to implement a dress code. I understand their position on banning yoga pants, for the most part. But Nate Pyle hits the issue right on the head in his blog post “Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son.”
“There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into,” Pyle said in the post. “One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves. Son, you are better than both of these. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.”
What I believe the university’s stance on yoga pants can imply is this: Men, you are not in control of what you see and how you react. Women, it’s your job to protect men from their own irrepressible urges and savage nature.
That is a load of bunk. Let me be even clearer. That is a lie.
Women, it’s your job to get dressed in the morning. That’s it. The same goes for men; and if it’s just a day of staying inside and doing nothing but eating cheese puffs and watching movies for anyone, shoot, real pants aren’t even necessary. You and you alone tell your eyes where to go. For either sex, is it easy to not objectify another person with or without yoga pants? Apparently not. It takes commitment, or else I wouldn’t be writing this.
It is both man’s and woman’s responsibility to look at one another like human beings regardless of what is or isn’t there. Stop with the objectification. There are these things called eyes. Look at them, men, because that’s where you’ll find the real woman. Ladies, that’s where you’ll find the real man.
Especially – unfortunately – within the church, we have been hammered with a fear of our own sexuality and of our own bodies. The men have been taught their bodies simply react to stimuli, and they can’t help it – a nugget of truth twisted to let men shirk responsibility. Women have drowned under the weight of images reinforcing either shame of their own sexuality (a subject which tends to be largely ignored as well) or an over-sexualization of something God created beautiful and good.
We fall into the trap of being ruled by that fear, and as a result assign blame in places it shouldn’t be assigned. If a man does something stupid and blames it on the woman’s appearance, she didn’t make him do it. He did the stupid thing himself. And while maybe it isn’t as frequent, the same goes for women.
We need to stop the inadvertent dialogue of “othering” one another either in word or deed. What men and women want from each other above all else, I believe, is acceptance.
“In the end, they want to be with you,” Pyle said. “Without fear of being judged, or shamed, or condemned, or objectified or being treated as other. And that’s not just what women want. That’s what people want. Ultimately, it’s what you want.”
Oklahoma Christian University is trying to control their “bubble,” creating an environment where it’s easier to live a life that strives to draw closer to the nature of God by excluding potential temptations. I do not fault this, and because I obviously go to school here and signed various things assuring my compliance, I obey and have a measure of trust that my future alma mater is trying to help me spiritually.
But best intentions can only go so far, and unless you become a super-super senior, Oklahoma Christian can’t protect you for that long. You’re going to run into yoga pants in the “outside world.” Actually, you’re going to run into a lot more than that, both as an Eagle and as an alumnus.
So if nothing else I’ve said makes sense, hear this. The policy on yoga pants can imply a devious lie that we are subtly taught – that we aren’t in control of our bodies, our decisions or our thoughts. But what we need to realize is that ultimately, this policy doesn’t really matter. People who want to wear them will continue to do so, and men or women with wandering eyes and thoughts will do so with or without them. But that very action is what we need to change – not with a blanket rule that misses the true problem, but with the recognition that we are called to something much higher, much better as Christians.
We are called to recognize and appreciate these beautiful creatures that we call man and woman, but what it is to be a man or a woman shouldn’t be tied solely to what the media and our own insecurities project as the ‘right’ body. What it is to be a man or a woman shouldn’t even – dare I say it – be tied to the gender roles we’re bludgeoned with day after day. As cliché as it can sound, it’s how we love ourselves, and love others. From that fountain flows respect and graciousness, mercy and true life.
And if that’s too sappy for you, I’ll just go back to eating these cheese puffs and watching movies in my pajamas.
0
0
Be First to Comment