Topic: Why is it that college is perceived as the best time to find a spouse? Why is there so much pressure to get a ring by spring at OC?
The Talon has had its fair share of editorials on “ring by spring” culture, dating all the way back to 2013. Some articles focus on the unnecessary rush to get engaged during college, others about the impracticality of getting married at such an early age.
I even caught the ring-by-spring article bug last year in an editorial titled “Why our engagement in ‘ring by spring’ culture needs to change,” a pun I am still extremely proud of. So, when I received this topic I wanted to add a fresh perspective to the conversation.
Living single is fantastic.
Of course, I do not want to sound desperate and I do not judge any student in a serious romantic relationship in college. Like I said in my previous “ring by spring” editorial, I admire and respect anyone who can manage serious dating, engagement or straight up married life on top of everything else the undergraduate world slings at college students. I love that for them.
But, I have found immense joy in the friendships I’ve developed at Oklahoma Christian University and the opportunities I have to explore the world without feeling tied to another person.
I have the freedom to spend my free time alone or with friends. I don’t ever check in with anyone before making a decision on how to spend my day. My primary focuses are a school, my future career, my faith, my friends and drinking my weight in coffeehouse beverages. Truly, life is good.
Still, I have too many conversations at Oklahoma Christian starting with a statement like “I am just so ready to have a boyfriend/girlfriend” or “I wish I had a significant other.” As Jeff McMillon so eloquently points out in his class, Christian Family, too many students are relationship atheists. We tend to put our full and complete trust in God until it comes to romance.
In this section of life, many Christians attempt to take matters in their own hands, cultivating a timeline according to their plan rather than God’s. We give bad advice and receive worse advice about love without looking to the bible, yet still expecting to yield healthy relationships.
In my opinion, this community has focused more on the pressure of finding a spouse rather than the spiritual life of every individual on campus.
While this narrative is not perpetuated in chapel or even in classes, I have had more discussions about relationships than Jesus during my time in college. I have heard more side conversations about guys and girls than the good God we serve. I hope this is not true for every student at Oklahoma Christian, but this is my truth. I am guilty of this too.
As a community, I feel we could greatly benefit from allowing God’s timeline to play out effortlessly while we focus all of our energy on him.
A part of me hesitated to write a singleness-is-so-great-because-you-can-work-on-yourself kind of article. There are arguably too many of those in the world of Christian blog posts. But, I feel students at Oklahoma Christian, including myself, can take great joy by appreciating the season of life they are in.
Whether you are in a committed relationship or you have never gone on a date before, God knows what he is doing in your life. Live joyfully in the present moment, it won’t last forever.